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Mar. 22nd, 2012 10:09 amI met up with a new guy from OKCupid last night. It was... I don't know. In our IM's, he seemed to be understanding of the fact that I wasn't looking for anything more than platonic friendship. So I agreed to meet up with him last minute at Village Coffee.
He thought Minecraft was stupid. He didn't know any of the 70s punk rock bands I listed as having grown up on. He asked me if I was "scene." He wasn't interested in seeing pictures of my rats, and thought it was weird that I had pet rats. He was playing DrawSomething most of the time as I sat awkwardly sipping my coffee.
We were, at least, able to hold a conversation about religion and existentialism.
At some point, he asked me if we could change the subject because my existentialist viewpoints were depressing him. He started asking me about bisexuality and asking me about my preference, so I tried explaining to him that I'm not physically sexual. He asked me about my current sex life, and I tried to be as open as I felt comfortable with. He went on to say I wasn't being safe by having sex with my friend, started quizzing me about what I would do if I got pregnant, etc. I felt slut shaming in his words.
But I'll be goddamned if he didn't take that opportunity to ask me to make out with him. I declined. He tried to guilt trip me into it by saying it "would mean a lot to him." He would say he's fine with being platonic friends if that's what I wanted, and when I said I did, he kept going back to wanting to make out. Every word I used to defend myself and my decision (which I shouldn't have even had to do) were being used against me. I kept trying to further explain my lack of physical sexuality in hopes that something would strike a chord enough for him to stop, but his response made it clear he didn't - and likely wouldn't - understand. But I stood my ground. Kept saying no. By the time we departed to go home, he was asking if I would kiss him when we hung out next. So exhausted and ready to go home, I just said, "I don't know."
I feel doubtful that we'll make good friends, so I'll probably just stick to public places in the daytime if I agree to meet up with him again. He lives in my apartment complex, so I'm kind of anticipating him to try getting me over to his apartment. If it starts turning stressful, I'll just cut it off.
He thought Minecraft was stupid. He didn't know any of the 70s punk rock bands I listed as having grown up on. He asked me if I was "scene." He wasn't interested in seeing pictures of my rats, and thought it was weird that I had pet rats. He was playing DrawSomething most of the time as I sat awkwardly sipping my coffee.
We were, at least, able to hold a conversation about religion and existentialism.
At some point, he asked me if we could change the subject because my existentialist viewpoints were depressing him. He started asking me about bisexuality and asking me about my preference, so I tried explaining to him that I'm not physically sexual. He asked me about my current sex life, and I tried to be as open as I felt comfortable with. He went on to say I wasn't being safe by having sex with my friend, started quizzing me about what I would do if I got pregnant, etc. I felt slut shaming in his words.
But I'll be goddamned if he didn't take that opportunity to ask me to make out with him. I declined. He tried to guilt trip me into it by saying it "would mean a lot to him." He would say he's fine with being platonic friends if that's what I wanted, and when I said I did, he kept going back to wanting to make out. Every word I used to defend myself and my decision (which I shouldn't have even had to do) were being used against me. I kept trying to further explain my lack of physical sexuality in hopes that something would strike a chord enough for him to stop, but his response made it clear he didn't - and likely wouldn't - understand. But I stood my ground. Kept saying no. By the time we departed to go home, he was asking if I would kiss him when we hung out next. So exhausted and ready to go home, I just said, "I don't know."
I feel doubtful that we'll make good friends, so I'll probably just stick to public places in the daytime if I agree to meet up with him again. He lives in my apartment complex, so I'm kind of anticipating him to try getting me over to his apartment. If it starts turning stressful, I'll just cut it off.
