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The other day, baby Elanor got her ear sliced and head gashed by Joely. I often find scabs on all three rats, and Elanor got a small bite in her ear recently (my first time dealing with blood), but this is the first time I've dealt with real injuries. I had to clean her wounds out with peroxide. I'm not sure what to do about Joely's aggression. Elanor has been bullying her, and although Joely retaliated too roughly, I'm still pretty sure she was just reacting to the bullying. I can see in her eyes afterward that she is scared. Joely is much bigger than Clementine and Elanor, and I don't think she realizes her strength, especially with little bitty Elanor.

As of late, I'm trying to keep in mind that my feelings are entirely valid, but problems occur when I deal with them improperly. I'm often self-indulgent with negative feelings - sadness, bitterness, insecurity, etc. I'm learning how to take responsibility for my own feelings instead of blaming other people for them. I feel very empowered when I'm able to keep my head up and deal with things on my own, but I think the difficulty really is in breaking habit and getting myself out of this cave I retreat to for safety when I'm too scared to take responsibility for myself. I feel good about my progression, though, and I've remained stable.

Anyway, I've felt much better about The Hunger Games thing since Ryan and I talked about it a few days ago. I'm going to Pensacola on Friday, and we're planning on seeing the movie together this weekend. If we can get in free, that is.

I have more to write, mostly about a debate I had in class today, but I'm tired and I want to watch at least one more episode of Community before I go to bed. So I'll save it for tomorrow.
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anenome: (Default)

July 2012


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